.I have a confession to make. Yes I know I seem to do that a lot on The Dish but you know what they say about confession good for the soul and all. (looks askance). Well here goes;
“Forgive me blog readers for I have sinned. It’s been four months since I made this dish. I’ve had the draft sitting here since and have no excuse for not posting it except procrastination. I’m ready and prepared to accept my punishment”
Let me first say I will accept any punishment you met out but if I may beg for mercy then I would simply ask; please oh please don’t make me eat chocolate or brownies and especially not fresh warm bread slathered in butter. Anything but that!! Torture me just please don’t make me eat those! ANYTHING BUT THOSE!!.
What?! Not one but TWO plates of warm bread and butter?? Oh please no! I beg of you! Anything but that!!
(sniff) ok I’ll take my penance.
(leans to Mr. Sweet Butter, whispering out of the side of the mouth, “reverse psychology, gets ’em every time.”)
Honestly, if blame is to be placed, it sits squarely on the name. I simply didn’t know what to call it.
I didn’t intend to call this dish “Man Chow Chili”. To be honest I don’t even know what “Man Chow” anything would look like. Maybe it’s like those ink blotches psychiatrist flash at you then instruct you to tell them the first thing that comes to mind. Only this time I didn’t have an ink blot, I had a chili pot. So ya, improvisation, like I said.
I guess Man Chow looks like that; tons of meat, veggies, thick loaded spoons that weigh about a pound. Definitely something with bacon and sausage and beef; green peppers and onions are good too. It’s all man food you know. Have you ever placed a bowl of thin soup or a petite fluffy soufle in front of a “manly man?” He gives you the one-two-three look.
He looks at the plate trying to figure out what’s wrong. “Did we go broke? Are we on rations? Did the stores stop selling meat and cake? Perhaps she got my food confused with the kids.”
Then he look at you like you’ve just sprouted a breast in the middle of your forehead. You know that look that says, “Normally I really like one of those, even two, but why did she move one? Did she move one or grow another. Three is not good. Why there. Did it happen at the store when there was no meat? What did I miss?”
Lastly he looks back at the food as if expecting it to have disappeared during his perplexing examination of the breast on your forehead; a sort of stunned realization that “yes the forehead breasted woman that vaguely resembles my wife really did put this odd looking plate of rationed baby food in front of me. Do I have a will?”
If you’ve never had the “one-two-three look” you’re one smart cook. But just in case you are curious to the validity of the look you’ll get, try it and you’ll see exactly what I mean.
No, man food need substance; carry it off with a dump truck sort of substance. Chili is “man food” and as my Pe’pe used to say “better stick to the ribs”.
Of course chili has to have tomatos three different ways; Tomato sauce, tomato paste and chopped tomatoes. And being there’s already about 10,000 grams of fat in this chili when you consider a pound of bacon, a pound of andouille sausage and a pound of ground beef, you have to balance it with organic and imported tomatos. I’m sure that balances it out. No really I think it does.
Of course you have to help them eat smart by not allowing them to serve themselves. Their eyes are always 18.9 times bigger than their stomachs and if given the opportunity they will pick the biggest bowl in the cupboard, convinced anything smaller and they’ll surely starve to death. The secret to feeding your “manly man” his meal perfectly proportioned in every way is to serve it in a cute little crock pretty enough for a woman but made for a man; put it on a plate and fill it over flowing. They see food pooling and puddling around their dish and never think once about turning to a bag of bones.
Well I can’t stay long I have a terrible penance to attend to and all because of an innocent pot of chili. I know, I deserve it. I was bad and I have to atone for my ways. Maybe I should have called it “Sinful Chili”. Can I blame my sins on the chili? I promise it’ll never happen again (raises eyebrows doubtfully). Nobody should have to suffer through fresh warm bread and melted butter, dripping over the sides of crispy brown crust and down the fingers… mmmmm.
OH I mean, my oh my the torture! yes torture…horrid I tell you.
To show you how truly sorry I am I’ll throw in thirty “Hail Butters” for good measure.
See I can learn from my mistakes.
Enjoy the chili.
- 1 pound Lean ground beef
- 1 pound Bacon, chopped
- 1 pound Andouille sausage, cut into ½ inch pieces
- 3 tablespoons chili powder
- 1 teaspoon Ground cumin
- 1 teaspoon Cardamon powder
- 1 teaspoon Garlic powder
- 4 cloves Garlic, diced
- 1 large Onion, chopped
- 1 Bell pepper, chopped
- 26oz Chopped tomatoes
- 2 16oz cans Light or dark kidney beans.
- 16oz Tomato sauce
- 4oz Tomato paste
- Salt and pepper to taste.
- Shredded cheddar cheese for topping
- In a large skillet cook bacon, ground beef & andouille sausage on medium heat until cooked through. Drain well reserving one tablespoon of drippings in pan.
- Add onion, garlic, bell pepper & seasonings & saute for one minute.
- Dump meat in a large pot or crock pot and add diced tomatoes, tomato sauce & kidney beans.
- Cover and heat on high in a crock pot or medium simmer on the stove for a minimum of 30 minutes.
- Add tomato paste as needed to thicken. If chili is too thick add water as needed.
- Season with salt and pepper if desired.
- Serve with cheddar cheese.